If I should have a daughter…“Instead of “Mom”, she’s gonna call me “Point B.” Because that way, she knows that no matter what happens, at least she can always find her way to me. And I’m going to paint the solar system on the back of her hands so that she has to learn the entire universe before she can say “Oh, I know that like the back of my hand.”
She’s gonna learn that this life will hit you, hard, in the face, wait for you to get back up so it can kick you in the stomach. But getting the wind knocked out of you is the only way to remind your lungs how much they like the taste of air. There is hurt, here, that cannot be fixed by band-aids or poetry, so the first time she realizes that Wonder-woman isn’t coming, I’ll make sure she knows she doesn’t have to wear the cape all by herself. Because no matter how wide you stretch your fingers, your hands will always be too small to catch all the pain you want to heal. Believe me, I’ve tried.
And “Baby,” I’ll tell her “don’t keep your nose up in the air like that, I know that trick, you’re just smelling for smoke so you can follow the trail back to a burning house so you can find the boy who lost everything in the fire to see if you can save him. Or else, find the boy who lit the fire in the first place to see if you can change him.”
But I know that she will anyway, so instead I’ll always keep an extra supply of chocolate and rain boats nearby, ‘cause there is no heartbreak that chocolate can’t fix. Okay, there’s a few heartbreaks chocolate can’t fix. But that’s what the rain boots are for, because rain will wash away everything if you let it.
I want her to see the world through the underside of a glass bottom boat, to look through a magnifying glass at the galaxies that exist on the pin point of a human mind. Because that’s how my mom taught me. That there’ll be days like this, “There’ll be days like this my momma said” when you open your hands to catch and wind up with only blisters and bruises. When you step out of the phone booth and try to fly and the very people you wanna save are the ones standing on your cape. When your boots will fill with rain and you’ll be up to your knees in disappointment and those are the very days you have all the more reason to say “thank you,” ‘cause there is nothing more beautiful than the way the ocean refuses to stop kissing the shoreline no matter how many times it’s sent away.
You will put the “wind” in win some lose some, you will put the “star” in starting over and over, and no matter how many land mines erupt in a minute be sure your mind lands on the beauty of this funny place called life.
And yes, on a scale from one to over-trusting I am pretty damn naive but I want her to know that this world is made out of sugar. It can crumble so easily but don’t be afraid to stick your tongue out and taste it.
“Baby,” I’ll tell her “remember your mama is a worrier but your papa is a warrior and you are the girl with small hands and big eyes who never stops asking for more.”
Remember that good things come in threes and so do bad things and always apologize when you’ve done something wrong but don’t you ever apologize for the way your eyes refuse to stop shining.
Your voice is small but don’t ever stop singing and when they finally hand you heartbreak, slip hatred and war under your doorstep and hand you hand-outs on street corners of cynicism and defeat, you tell them that they really ought to meet your mother. Sarah Kay (via hqlines)
Go*damn. *pats self on the back*
Me: Just tell me the reason why nakigbulag ka. Para di ko mag wonder ba.
Me: Talk to me whenever u have something to share ha? I’m here lang baby.
I am that somebody who’s crazy about you. Who’s secretly thinking of u. If you ever ask yourself those questions.
Babo: I know that.
Me: Let me love you until you learn to love yourself? :/
Babo: Di nako gusto mahimong burden sa imo :( dili ko gusto muabot ka sa point na sumhan nalang. Unfair man gud sa imo.
Me: Come on, smile na baby :) Kita man ma burden. Dont tell me di ka gaka burden skoa. But I want you to be the one. Di ka kasabot na di ko gusto ug lain? Mura sag di ko ma burden sa lain haa. I love you baby. I have faith in you. You’re really different. And di na sa pag binias. Trust me babe. You’ll go a long way from here. :) Just trust me. You wont be stuck. I promise. Dont lose faith.
Babo: What if dili naka? Give up naka sako. What if after that dili ka ganahan makig friends. I cant afford that :(( Di na nako kaya. Thats why I wanted to be better. Atleast man lang if dili kita friends ta :((
Me: Idk unsa mahitabo sa future. And its scary. But babe. Dont ruin our love now. Im not perfect. We’re scared of the same thing. But baby please. Saying I love you would be so selfish right now.. Please. Dont give us up baby. :”(
Babo: Babyy :’((
Me: Baby I’m here :* Im not going anywhere :* baby..
Babo: Baby, dili naman gud pareha sauna akong love :((
Me: I know. I know that. Kato naa pman sa stage na ‘emotional high’ ka. U know, crazy2 pa. But if di nagyd ko nimo love or mas nangibabaw pa ang burden kesa sa will na ipadayon at rel then mu accept ko ana. I’ll give you what you want.
Babo: Sure ka kaya nimo mag stay with me mski kabalo ka na na-lessen na ang love? Mski burden nako sa imo?
Me: At first I thought na mas maayo pa c first love coz grabe sha ka crazy nako nga feel gyd nako na love kyko nya. I want that. But I cant ask that from you. Baby as long as love tka, whatever love u have left inside of you unsa pana ka gamay I’ll accept that. Kayanon nako baby.
Babo: Ngano mas gusto ka mu settle sa ing.ana?
Me: Love is not a punishment. It doesnt control, or fear na u will lose that person or thing. Its not possessive. Baby di ko mu stay agi kay mahadlok ko mawala ka. I will stay because I love you. I love every part of you. I want you to be happy in every way and I wanna witness that. I wanna be a part of that. I wanna take care of you.
Avocado: You dont deserve this. :’( Sorry baby :(
Mango: Baby you cant tell me that. Do I deserve more? So unsa lugar you’ll settle for a person who doesnt love you like I do? Who loves u less? Who’s not worthy of you? Bullshit baby. Ayha rtka buhi.an if naay person mag love sa imo more than I can and secured naka sa iya love and love pud nimo sha.
Avocado: Speechless :O
Mango: Damn right you should be. So ayna palag diha. Uyab gypn ta. Way nahitabo bulag.
Mango: Unsay wow? Mu disagree ka?
Avocado: Nope :>
Mango: Kana bah. Gawas pagka lawyer.
Avocado: Thank you baby :) for not giving up on me
Mango: Tan.awa unsa ka precious ang wind sa ocean baby. If walay wind, grabe ka lifeless ang sea. Walay movement. Thats what you are. You are the wind. And I am the sea ;)